God Functions in terms of computer!

                 Merlin's Beard! This may seem funny but no offense..

            Brahma : Systems Installation

            Vishnu : Systems Support

            Lakshmi : Finance and Accounts consultant (SAP)

            Shiva : DBA (crash specialist)

            Ganesh : Documentation specialist

            Narada : Data Transfer

            Brihaspathi : Chief Information Officer.

            Yama : Re-Organisation Consultant

            ChitraGupta : Personnel Records

            Apsaras : Downloadable Viruses

            Devas : Y2k Programmers

            Surya : Solaris adminstrator

            Rakshasas : In house Hackers

            Ram : Hardware Support - single user specialist

            Lakshman : Support software and Backup

            Ravan : Internet Explorer - WWW

            Hanuman : RS6000

            Vali : Windows 98

            Sugreeva : Win 95

            Angadh : Win 3.1

            Jambhuvan : DOS

            Vishwamitra : Sr.Manager Projects

            Hastinapur : Silicon Valley

            Arjun : Lead Programmer (all Companies are Vying for him)

            Abhimanyu : Trainee Programmer

            Draupadi : Web server - free access (Shareware)

            Bhima : MAIN FRAME

            Duryodhan : Microsoft product written in VB

            Shakuni : Bill Gates

            Karna : Contract Programmer

            Shikandi : Steve Jobbs 100

            Kauravas : Microsoft Service Packs and Patches 

       No Comments! 

Best Books - Hilarious!

  New Releases - Cricketer's Books

  1. How to lose a winning match - Md.Azharuddin

  2. Century in 50th over - Saurav ganguly

  3. Straight to the fielder - Rahul Dravid

  4. Fighting single handed - Sachin Tendulkar

  5. Keep going - Ajay Jadeja

  6. Why not bowling - Nayan Mongia

  7. Fielding tips - Anil Kumble

  8. Bowling at slog - J.Srinath

  9. Not in mood - Ajit Agarkar

  10. Batting my style - Venkatesh Prasad

  11. Old is gold - Robin Singh

  12. Not more than fifty - Ramesh

  13. Summer holidays - Nikhil Chopra, Khurasia

  14. Next match is on Sunday - Anshuman Gaekwad

  Other books of wide interest (Best Sellers, Recommended for the Library)

  1. The confessions of an Angel - Monica Lewinsky !

  2. Inside White House - A true Story - Kenneth Starr

  3. How to be a Loyal Spouse - Bill Clinton

  4. Fighting back Terrorism: A struggle - ISI of Pakistan

  5. Promoting Communal hormony - Vishwa Hindu Parishad (VHP)

  6. Learn English in 60 Days - Kapil Dev

  7. Learn Hindi in 60 days - Sonia Gandhi

  8. Hindi Seekho 30 dinon mein - Deve Gowda

  9. Virtues of celebecy - Nelson Mandela

  10. Nuclear Non-prolification - A Strategy - Atomic Energy Dept. China

  11. Kashmir - Paradise on Earth - Dept. of External Affairs, India

  12. Secularism At Its Best - Home Ministry, Pakistan

  13. Population Control-Some Policy Measures - Laloo Prashad Yadav

  14. Fighting Back Corruption - Laloo Prashad Yadav & Mulayam Singh Yadav

  15. Epitome of Humbleness- An autobiography - TN Seshan &g! t;

  16. A Crash Course in Politics - Rabri Devi

  17. Challenges of Coalition Government - Kumari Jayalalitha

  18. Linguistic Diversity in TamilNadu - Kumari Jayalalitha.

  19. Farratedaar Englishwa Bolna tatha Padhna seeko 30 Deeno mein - Laloo Prashad Yadav

  20. How to make Nuclear Bomb-A simple guide for dummies - Pakistan atomic energy department.

Life B4 Computers!

THERE WAS LIFE BEFORE THE COMPUTER!

An application was for employment

A program was a TV show

A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano!

Memory was something that you lost with age

A CD was a bank account!

And if you had a broken disk,

It would hurt when you found out!

Compress was something you did to garbage

Not something you did to a file

And if you unzipped anything in public

You'd be in jail for a while!

Log on was adding wood to a fire

Hard drive was a long trip on the road

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

And a backup happened to your commode!

Cut- you did with a pocket knife

Paste- you did with glue

A web was a spider's home

And a virus was the flu!

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper

And the memory in my head

I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash But when it happens

they wish they were dead!

Think about it! It is sooo true. We are all so much addicted to this new era of computers. It can be both advantageous and disadvantageous. But using it extensively for every single, silly things can eventually lead us nowhere but the destruction of ourselves. When we know that life can be in existence without the computer why not use it minimally and save all the energy we use for it. Of course we have to use it for many important aspects but the message I am trying to convey is not to exceed our limits.

Funny Definitions

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and later kills you with his bills.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions
Rumor : News that travels faster than the speed of sound
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read
Dictionary : The only place where divorce comes before marriage
Marriage : An agreement in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and women gains her master's degree
Father : A banker provided by the nature
Politician : One who shakes your hand before election and confidence after election
Smile : A curve than can see lot of things straight
Optimist : A person who starts taking a bath in case he accidentally falls into a river
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward for the trip
Etc : A sigh to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together
School : a place where father pays and son plays
Life Insurance : A contract that keeps you poor so that you can die Rich!
Nurse : A person who wakes you up to give sleeping pills
Lecture :  An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference : A confusion of man multiplied the number of present
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Criminal :  A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught!
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes