Funny Definitions

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and later kills you with his bills.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions
Rumor : News that travels faster than the speed of sound
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read
Dictionary : The only place where divorce comes before marriage
Marriage : An agreement in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and women gains her master's degree
Father : A banker provided by the nature
Politician : One who shakes your hand before election and confidence after election
Smile : A curve than can see lot of things straight
Optimist : A person who starts taking a bath in case he accidentally falls into a river
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward for the trip
Etc : A sigh to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together
School : a place where father pays and son plays
Life Insurance : A contract that keeps you poor so that you can die Rich!
Nurse : A person who wakes you up to give sleeping pills
Lecture :  An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference : A confusion of man multiplied the number of present
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Criminal :  A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught!
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes